It’s normal to ask for help and guidance, and explore new ways to live with more comfort, ease, and joy in our bodies, minds, and lives,..
Life is complex…So are humans, and our issues or lives are very rarely rooted in one particular experience, event, or ‘diagnosis’. At what point does it stop being called mental illness, 'life' or toxic stress for example and start being called Trauma or vice versa?? And should it even matter what we call it, except to orient to a way of understanding, help, change and resolution??
If you’re human you know the impact of trauma at some level. It lives in each nook of our body and is the source of many physical ailments and dis-ease…It lives in our minds and tells us we’re not good enough, too much, too little…It lives in our spirit and robs us of our vision, opportunity, dreams and for some people their physical life……
Yet whether it's in a session, or on the street; In the boardroom or on the battlefield; At home, at work, in play. We all want to live a freaking awesome life! And isn’t that what we all really deserve??
Who I work with:
I go with people where I have been, because it's here I have great insight. I'm not a Saviour nor a Guru, but I've studied and certified in my craft profoundly each step of the work to solidify my training and understanding of what I offer. More so I've been in the trenches and know what it takes to get someone out. I work with people at different stages of their life and from various backgrounds, but whoever I work with I'm putting the Heart & Soul back into care, my mission being as Clear as Day - To help you move closer to Yourself and to being UN - Stuck - Your way - The way it's supposed to be!!
This can look like, but not limited to...
Building a rock solid foundation, managing, and overcoming the impact of Acute, Chronic, Complex and Vicarious Trauma - Toxic Stress - Repeated Adversity.
Orienting, connecting and authentically resilience-ing the Neurodivergent community.
Developing Rockstar Resilience in Post Traumatic Growth, Life Transitions, work and life Burnout.
Meeting, owning and transforming Unconscious Bias and Ego Ideals that lead to spilt out projections.
Finding your Verve with Self Discovery, and Personal Development.
Nervous System Balance and Regulation - Healthy, functional movement balancing mind, body, spirit.
Soul - Full Care - Spiritual Independence...
Diving into DEEP Presence.
I'm equally happy working with - DP/DR, phobias, anxiety, emotional numbing and heaping, compulsions, aggression and motivation.
I offer grounding in Wellbeing and Somatic Work every step of the way. You’re welcome to work optionally with movement, yoga, TSM, iRest or as a Stand Alone.
Why?
I do this Because I’ve walked this path so closely: I understand the coping mechanisms we employ - The thinking, feeling, responses, habits, addictions, motivations, strategies, compulsions, and masks - The destruction and devastation that may occur or the opportunities we miss..
No issues are created in a single system or experience, and too many programs insist on saying ‘We are all Unique’ yet continue to churn out prescriptive methods and modalities which elude to the sense we are all the same and we are not…
I'm here to change that.
How…
Sessions are usually held online via video call (using Zoom), so they can be accessed internationally, from wherever is most comfortable for you. Business/Speaking can be offered remotely or you can invite me to your space.
While there is structure, a lot of our work together may still be non-linear. While some individuals may be exploring a similar theme, each may look different in terms of the order, pace, length and types of explorations we enter into, because each individual is still coming in with their own life experience that can impact how we address. Many forms of support/coaching/therapy are too prescriptive and do not allow for this human complexity.
Group work may have more stylized structure to it, but I still allow for non - linear work. These groups have a maximum of 10 people and unlike many other programmes I only do group work around Trauma healing when a level of stability is already maintained and people are able to self regulate for themselves and quite effectively. Too many dysregulated people bouncing off each other is not conducive to effective healing or learning.
I work on the following principles
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A space to land and be yourself. A space to be met in your complexity with no mask, feeling free to bring anything into the room while still being witnessed as human and valued. A space to connect, collaborate and meet us as a unified relationship - Both with the common goal of helping you resolve or manage that which is uncomfortably running your life.
The core of the work is the Connection and Conversation between you and me, so I can deliver What you need, how you need it, and when, whilst knowing it is open to change as you and I evolve in the journey together. I will never assume to know you and your experiences better than you and whatever happens from here on in our sessions are built relationship because this is what drives it forward…
I continuously check in with you throughout our time together to ask if its ok to continue with a particular kind of work. I will take your YES as a YES and your NO as a No. My role is to establish a relationship whereby you feel safe to respond truthfully and openly. Some people feel a little timid in this honesty at the beginning ( Perhaps the experience of having offended someone in this way in the past, or fear of being penalized in some way.)This is not how I work - always feel safe to tell me if something isn’t working for you. ( With this in mind I will also observe any unconscious non-verbal indicators that you are not in agreement with something).
I do not take the stance you need fixing or deficient in something. We do the best we can with what we have available at various times in our life. It doesn’t make us less than, weak, or wrong…it makes us human.
Trauma Responses and the maladaptations that can grow out of those - Beliefs, patterns, behaviours, thoughts, emotions, sensations, compulsions, addictions are totally predictable and correct for any system in overwhelm.
Therapy tends to be rooted in pathogenic diagnosis, focusing on the presenting problem and diagnosis, yet trauma ( nor in fact anything) are limited to a single system affecting many areas of life simultaneously.
A Salutogenic and integrative approach, highlights a Continuum of health, wellbeing, and positive expectancy in all systems and areas of life; Emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual, physical, occupational, social, and relational. Although I acknowledge the presenting problem, I’m also seeking to understand the unmet need underneath, which is often the root.
Our focus is to help build you towards resiliency, intentionality, integrity, growth, health, competency and capacity; Ultimately finding a way to stay true to yourself even in the hardest conditions.
I will not diagnose you with any health conditions (mental health or otherwise). I will acknowledge and work with any labels ( diagnoses) when 1) they make conversations, resources, tools, and orientations more accessible and understandable 2) They are useful for accessing support 3) We explore what meaning and beliefs you may have placed around them. ( Symptoms don’t need to have a label to be managed though if you arrive with one we won’t ignore it)
Humans tend to live with shame - especially those who have lived with trauma.
Although many survivors struggle to feel compassion towards themselves in the beginning, I work towards unravelling this conditioning, primarily by modelling, then moving actively towards rewiring the brain and body towards a more compassion based way of being. Even when there is accountability I always enter with a compassionate focus.
Non linear method of healing
I don’t prescribe to models or programmes of healing that prescribe to the notion of arriving somewhere or being fully healed. While the intensity of symptoms are lessened, and sometimes even eliminated it doesn’t mean we are never impacted by life again..
Sometimes we pendulate back and forth especially in the early days and this is completely normal and expected. Trust in the process and be compassionate towards yourself as you learn to renegotiate a more harmonious, resourceful, and resilient way of being.
I always tell my clients - “Be very hopeful and expect things to change, but also be honest with yourself and the journey will be so much more fulfilling.”
What I don’t do is :-
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Supply a work book which you will probably never absorb
The work is modelled in session so you’re not thrown any surprises and we do what are called experiments…
Offer a Programme and attempt to fit you into a time line.
I ask for a three month minimum commitment because this is usually the amount of time people really start to feel as though the work is becoming solidified. ( Although my experience is that many of the intense symptoms are manageable at this point in most people ) However some people carry on much longer it depends on each persons need or vision…especially when we are speaking of consolidating post traumatic growth, diving into shadow work, personal discovery, and working on more fixed beliefs…
Attempt to fit you to a method or a programme.
While there are certain topics and models which are part of our work together ( eg nervous system regulation for one) I don’t prescribe to a “Week 3 we do this” kind of protocol. If we are working relationally it doesn’t work like this. I’m calling that BS out right now.
Advocate any particular method as …
“This is the one that will heal your life.” Again while i ascribe to certain resources, strategies, and models, given there can be an intersection of complexities presenting my experience is each person responds in different ways, therefore my work is tailored around YOU..
Provide a gazillion somatic exercises
We solidify the one’s that speak to you which are modelled. I don’t waste time supplying an over abundance of exercises into a more expensive package that you will probably never even use ( In all honesty the surplus we can always find free on the internet)
Questions to ask me or any other care provider you are working with:-
- Are you engaged in your own healing/therapy/coaching on a regular basis?
- What are your self care practices?
- What training do you have?
- Are you continuing to update your qualifications and learn afresh?
- How do I know if this is working?
- What if I feel unsafe/threatened/upset/angry or disagree with you in a session?
- Do you have a disclosure policy?
- What if I don’t do my homework/experiments?
( I can’t resist answering this. This isn’t school or prison which can be wrongly oppressive. We will chat about what is getting in the way and figure it out together!!)
